Bread.
Scrambled eggs.
Tuna.
Bacon.
We're out of cheese, so we're gonna have to improvise on this one. Here, I'll just peel the cheese off of an old slice of pizza -- Actually you know what, let's just throw the whole thing on there.
Some potato chips, for texture.
More texture.
A chocolate chip cookie. You know. For texture.
Now a little zest.
And the finishing touch...
A lit cigar.
Note that the sandwich has been flipped. The bottom slice of bread had to be replaced, as it had absorbed all the whiskey and turned into mush. Rest assured, the sandwich is still intact.
It's at this point that my girlfriend wakes up, presumably from my high-pitched, girlish giggling. I look down, and I just realize suddenly, holy shit. What the fuck am I doing? It's 4 in the morning and I am using her phone to take pictures of a fucking sandwich. Why? Because the internet told me to. She's gonna be like, "what the fuck are you doing?" And I'm just gonna be like, "I don't know. I just don't know."
She calls out to me from the living room. "John? What are you doing?"
"I'm, uh... making a sandwich."
She steps into the doorframe, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "It's 4 o'clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making a sandwich?"
"Because I've lost control of my life."
As she enters the kitchen, she squints at the pile of crap that has accumulated on the counter. "What is th-- Oh my God."
She puts a hand up to her mouth, speechless, laughing under her breath. "This... I just... Oh my God. Why."
"Because internet."
Here's a picture of it without the hat:
Yes, I did actually eat this mammoth pile of shit. The whole thing. It actually wasn't too bad until I hit the cookie in the middle, at which point it became suddenly and excruciatingly horrible. I literally almost puked. Ever try eating a chocolate chip cookie and mushy tuna in the same mouthful? Well don't do it. Anyway, I suffered through it, mostly because I'd sooner eat a sack of doorknobs than waste food, but also because I love you guys. So yeah. You're welcome.
look at this douchebag with his miku shirt
