Trouble at the Nakai Shrine

[Smok, destroyer of thoughts]

Well, greetings Maidens of the Kaleidoscope. I'm in the middle of writing a Katawa shoujo x touhou crossover. I posted what I have already at the KS forums. If anyone would be confused about what's up with the characters, please feel free to explore the depths of the seven internets. I'll be linking some images and music to enrich the story.
Enjoy as you please. Oh, right. I'm not the author of these images nor songs. Thank the creators etc.

Part 1:
( current music in the background http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9jTbOVttVM ? Usual Days)
   Summer at the Nakai Shrine. Hisao Nakai was sweeping the footsteps of the shrine he resided in. He especially kept the areas of the donation box clean. ?The cleaner the box, the more donations you can get? said the shrine maiden which resided here before her departure.
   That's right, Hisao was just a temporary keeper of the shrine. ?temporary? as it was, the shrine maiden hasn't returned from her vacation in ages now. Hisao renamed the shrine from the weird name starting on ?H? to Nakai Shrine. Everything else tough remained in the same style as it was in the past: Yin-Yang orbs hanging from the ceiling here and there, the old pretty big and brownish donation box right in the entrance of the shrine itself and the miko quarters, suited for only one person to live in, but big enough to invite a few guests for a few cups of tea. And a pond behind the shrine. In the pond was living a gigantic and very old looking turtle. He even had a beard. The previous shrine maiden said his name was Genji and he hasn't spoken in ages. Hisao wasn't particularly sure the animal was even alive as it was rarely moving and it never left it's pond even for a little while. But he fed the turtle still and everything indicated that turtle was alive since his feed was disappearing as Hisao wasn't looking. He tried to catch the turtle at least on eating but he got bored and gave up after a month. Naturally as he arrived here, the other miko had emptied the storage room leaving only turtle food for Genji.
   Hisao kept sweeping mostly out of boredom. Nothing special was going on around. Donations he received were always pathetically low. And he never knew who actually was leaving those coins in the box. He rarely had guests who came to pray at the shrine. Mostly lost travelers, weird natives of Gensokyo and...

?Sup, Hisao? the usual voice was heard behind Hisao's back. He got used to it so much he didn't even turn around to greet the visitor.
?Just sweeping, like usual.? he answered with a sigh of boredom.
?Can ya make me some tea, ze?? the person asked. It was also his usual habit to drink tea with Hisao. He seemed like a pretty bored person too.
?Yea, whatever, come inside? Hisao turned around to the visitor as he made his way towards his miko quarters. The person was none other then Kenji Kirisame. He called himself ?The ordinary magician? but he was fair from ordinary. He had stupidly thick glasses on his nose (Hisao always wondered if he can actually see anything through those), a black witch's hat tied with a white ribbon, a black vest on a white shirt with a green bow. He also had a skirt on. And a white apron. Hisao was pretty sure Kenji had his Mary Jane's on his feet as well. He came here on a broomstick, which he proudly held in hands.

(switch music to Argue for and Against http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZyOb6L1GJc )
?You look gay? Hisao summarized Kenji while leaving the broom outside his room.
?Says who, you shrine maiden!? Kenji replied. They were talking like this for a few months now since they met each other.
?I am a shrine MAN. Not maiden. A Shrine man? Hisao started brewing tea.
?And who ever heard of a shrine man? You're not even a priest! You're a substitute shrine maiden, bro.?
?blah blah, shut up?
?Well, my family wears aprons and Mary Jane's for generations. This is a traditional, manly outfit, unlike your crap? Kenji pointed out. He unzipped a little pouch he had on his waist and took out a little bag of biscuits. Snacks, how nice.
?Hey, don't mock the shrine man dress. It reveals my arm pits well and the skirt prevents me from overheating on such warm summer days as this. And the ribbon on the head... is enchanted. Tasty biscuits? Hisao took a biscuit out of the bag and took a bite.
?Whatever. Thanks. Rinnosuke also had new some ones on stock today.? Kenji munched on a cookie he got from a weird little package he showed apart from biscuits.
?What are these new ones you speak of?? Hisao got curious. He lost interest in the regular old biscuits. He took a look at the mysterious package:

http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/9369/pieguskiciasteczkazkawa.jpg

?Now this is very weird and colorful? You sure it's edible?? Hisao raised an eyebrow.
?Rinnosuke said they're fine. And they taste great. If you don't want any, I won't make you eat one? Kenji already had a greedy look on his face. Looks like the cookies really were good.
Hisao took three before Kenji managed to devour all.
?Interesting? he said as he tasted the well made yet simple cookie. ?I wonder what's written on this package?
?I have no idea. If this is kanji or an ancient language, then I haven't seen any of these ever. Doesn't matter since they're damn tasty.? Kenji ate the last cookie. Hisao brought the tea and they drank, having biscuits and chatting.

.........

   Evening came, sun was setting slowly behind the shrine. Hisao got up from the ground  near the pond, enjoying the feeling of a grassy field in a hot summer day. He pulled out all weeds he came across during this lazy day. His stomach growled. He didn't have a real lunch today since Kenji left.

(switch the music to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmRv_Zglz44 ? Beautiful Nature Sight)

   He left the shrine, taking his gohei ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gohei ) along with him. He had little money on him but he was hungry. Surely someone will have some food for the Nakai shrine mai... shrine man. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His body stayed in the same place, near a path close to the forests, but his sight moved ways up high to sky with great speed. From up high Hisao saw big parts of Gensokyo, but that wasn't enough. His body swung the gohei a few times in eerie circles and his ?sight? located in the sky started seeing in infravision. He pinpointed his target, alongside the road not far away. As he regained his sense of sight, Hisao happily went on his way towards his destination.
   He started seeing a faint light close to the road just a few hundred meters ahead. As he got closer, he witnessed a stand. It was a grilled lamprey stand, owned by Mystia Lorelei, a Night Sparrow. Hisao was hungry and a grilled lamprey wasn't a bad idea.
   The stand was a lonely little place, moving from time to time around Gensokyo, as Mystia lured wandering travelers, causing night-blindness to them, then selling them grilled lamprey, lifting the effect, claiming that it's the food that cured them. Hisao approached the stand nonchalantly, sat down on a free seat and placed his gohei on the ground. Next to him, sitting there was a tall woman, in a light brown shirt, with red trousers and ankle-long white hair with red and white ribbons. She had a bottle of sake and seemed to finish of her portion of lamprey. The very owner of the stand was chatting with her, happily waving her little pink bird wings, in her usual brown clothing and a blue apron. Looks like there's no crowd today.
   Mystia turned to Hisao as he came by to her stand:

http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/3200/a5f52566009ba2a54b6c686.jpg

?A portion of grilled lamprey for you, Hisao??
?Yeah, I'm hungry. Make it a big lamprey.? I think I shouldn't eat such food but... ah whatever, it's not like my heart will...
?And you got money to pay for it?? She asked curiously. Hisao rolled all his coins on the counter. ?That's a little low...? She said with a little sound of sadness in her melodic voice. Hisao looked straight in her eyes.
?You know... Maybe I'd like a fried chicken instead...? he said with an evil grin.
?O-oh, n-n-n-o! It's fine, one big grilled lamprey coming right up? Mystia jumped with fear and turned around to grill a lamprey for the one of the Nakai shrine.
   Hisao turned his attention towards the woman next to him. Her sake bottle seemed near empty and she seamed a little tipsy, judging by her look. She took out a cigarette out of a pocket of her overalls and lit it. With fire from her hand. Naturally, as expected from Fujiwara no Akira, an immortal with the power to control fire. And the biggest smoker in Gensokyo.
( switch to Drunk as I Like- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLswa5g08Y0 )
?Whatcha lookin' at, shrine maiden?? Akira asked as she noticed Hisao staring at her for a bit longer time.
?N-Nothing? Hisao quickly looked in a different direction. He didn't fear Akira. She was just pretty creepy. She rarely talked with anyone. This stand was the only place Hisao ever saw her.
Mystia brought the grilled lamprey and Hisao began to chew on in silence. The Night sparrow went back to Akira and started talking.
?Thanks for waiting. You know, I had this really handsome visitor a few days ago...? blah blah blah. Mystia kept talking on and on. Akira seemed to ignore her, just sitting there, staring at nothing in particular, but that didn't seem to bother the bird youkai at all.
   Hisao nearly finished his meal when Akira got up from her seat, leaving her bottle on the counter.
?I'm goin'? she announced to Mystia and made her way towards the woods in the night.
?Oh, okay. See you!? Mystia happily waved to Akira. She seemed to enjoy Akira's company. What a weird type of friendship...
I waved goodbye to Mystia. He waved me back with a little trembling hand.

(Stop the music)

That was another day of the shrine mai... Man of the Nakai shrine.

[Smok, destroyer of thoughts]

Next part
(  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9jTbOVttVM ? Usual Days. Again)

   Morning sunlight had brutally hit Hisao in his face. He woke up with a yawn, rubbed his eyes and got up. Daily chores as always were ahead of him. He lost hope that the previous miko would return so he started feeling here totally at home. Months had passed and he didn't know a lot natives in Gensokyo still. He figured a time to meet them has come. But he wasn't in a hurry.
   He made some breakfast. It's a good thing he could buy all he needed from the human village nearby. People respected him tough probably didn't see his dress appropriate for a man. He didn't care. He remembered the day when he was forced to wear this despite his will... by that creepy gap youkai woman, of all people.
   She said, on the next day the last shrine maiden left, that I must wear this, because that's the rules. Hisao asked about the rules but he didn't receive a clear answer. The woman looked at him with glowing red eyes and said that the barrier between Gensokyo and the outer world would collapse, destroying both places if he wouldn't wear the ribbon, the dress and all that... And he was pretty sure she wasn't fooling around. Or was she...? Well, Hisao found the dress pretty functional and the job peaceful enough. He was told that he must ?resolve incidents? but nothing major happened. He didn't need to manage the human village, because that hakutaku teacher was there, taking care of every little thing that came up. He didn't have to do anything around the forest because the forest trembled each time you said the name ?Kenji? out too loud. Just what was the man doing there...?
   So what was Hisao supposed to do except sweeping dust from the Nakai Shrine and feeding the old fart turtle? Laze off. And....
?Oh, yoohoo?
... accept weird guests.
   A female voice was heard out of nowhere as Hisao swept the shrine.
?Yikes!? he cried when the space in the middle of the shrine started distorting and moving in a weird way. In the very same spot opened a gap, increasing in size rapidly. Hisao dropped the broom and it got sucked into the gap. He wanted to reach for it but he was met with a whole bunch of creepy eyes looking at him from the eerie space inside the extraordinary warp gate. He had no idea who or what was the owner of the mysterious eyeballs but he was slowly expecting of who will come out next.
(Stop the music)
?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eha3f_xoyk&feature=related ? laughed the voice as Hisao was getting up with a depressed sigh.

(Switch the music to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ4fLvyv2gk  - Sky of Scarlet Perception )

   Of the darkness of the gap emerged a woman dressed in an elegant white dress, purple in the middle all the way from the neck down to her legs. She had a stylish umbrella in her hand, fitting the dress. Her long blond her were falling down her slender shoulders in a remarkable play with the morning light. The woman fully came out of the gap, snapped her fingers and the most strange distortion disappeared like it was never there. She checked her white mob cap with a red ribbon tied on it's front and then she took out a small fan, also in the colors of her dress, and started waving a little, probably just for show.
   She opened her closed till now eyes, revealing that one was golden and the other-  blue. They seemed empty tough. Hisao new well enough that she was blind. But that fact didn't bother her to look straight into the shrine man's own eyes. As if blindness was nothing.
?Lilly Yakumo? stated Hisao.
?Just as you say. Hello there, little shrine maiden? Lilly grinned with an evil look on her face.

(And now to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOc5OgFl8IU ? Swing a Fish to Drive Away Flies)

?Just WHAT did you call me!?? Hisao burst into anger.
?A little shrine maiden. Oh, wait... you are a shrine MAN? Lilly teased.
?Pah? he just shrugged at the mean comment, as his little anger gone away with the wind. She wasn't a bad looking youkai. ?Don't surprise me like that, I have a weak heart, you know... What brings you here?? He took a look at the youkai. He stopped his sight at some... particular places here and there.
?My face is up here, Nakai? Lilly couldn't help but smile.
?Oi, aren't you blind??
?I am. In these two eyes. But who said I see you with them??
Hisao looked around to find anything suspicious, like mini gaps with eyes, but he didn't find anything so he just decided to go with the flow.
?You didn't answer my question? He said and turned around to make some tea for the sudden guest.
?Tea? How thoughtful of you, thank you. Is this how you greet a fellow co-worker? With shouts and impoliteness?? she still waved the fan as she spoke.
Hisao ignored the question most obviously aiming to tease him even more. He couldn't deny tough that he could call her a ?co-worker?. She was THE gap youkai. She had the barrier between worlds under her control and Hisao read in a ?How to be a shrine maiden for dummies? manual that one of his jobs is to maintain this barrier stable and functional, avoiding any major dimensional distortion of time and space. The manual didn't say anything about the powerful natives of Gensokyo being able to manipulate godlike powers.
   As the tea was made, Hisao took a seat on of the shrine steps and invited Lilly to do so next to him and handed her a cup of tea. She drank the drink slowly, enjoying herself in this sunny summer morning.
?I just dropped by for a visit to see how's it going, mr. Substitute?
?Fine. Any words about the owner of this shrine??
?Nope?
?Not if that surprises me.? Hisao sipped his tea calmly.
?She has too much fun in the outer world...? Lilly murmured.
?Say what!? You have contact with her?? He looked at the youkai with surprise.
?I have contact with anyone I want, my dear human. With a few exceptions.?
?Like who??
?She said hi to you and asked if ?that bastard gay witch from the forest is still alive?. He is, isn't he??
?Yeah... What is she doing in the outer world??
?Enjoying herself. I lent her one of my mansions in a land called Japan and showed her around. She really got hooked on those game and anime things?
?I have no idea what are you talking about but I guess she's alright then. Good to know she's still alive out there.?

Hisao and Lilly finished their tea. They didn't talk much and they liked it that way.
?Oh, she's coming? said Hisao. Lilly indeed sensed something approaching in a great speed towards the shrine.
After a few seconds a woman came flying towards the shrine. She had black crow wings growing from her back and was dressed in a white blouse and a short black skirt with brown leaf motives. She had a black bag filled with newspaper and that little thing to make pictures. Her semi-long hair in the color of her wings fluttered amusingly as she was in sight of the pair.

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/5760/1281731089803.jpg

?Daily Bunbunmaru newspaper!? She yelled as she skillfully threw one of the newspapers towards Hisao's direction. He stood up to pick it up as it lied close by.
The girl in the air stopped for a moment tough, seeing Lilly and immediately pointed the little thing towards the two.
?Oh, a lovey-dovey couple! Say cheeese? and some light flashed at us from her little item.
?Hey, what the-? Hisao pointed his newspaper at her with anger.
?Haha, these'll be on the first page tomorrow!? She announced happily flying around in the air.
?That does it!? Hisao ran towards the shrine, blushing, in Lilly's amusement, and picked up his gohei. He pointed it towards the flying crow girl ?Buzz off, Aya, or I'll have roasted tengu for lunch? and a small sized yin-yang orb materialized and quickly flew towards the one called ?Aya?.
?Ayayaya, ok, ok, I'm going already! Sheesh! No respect for journalists?
?You mean paparazzis? Hisao pointed out and again pointed the gohei to Aya. She noticed it and flew away laughing and screaming something about tomorrow's first page.
Hisao went back to Lilly ?Stupid Shameimaru... *grumble grumble*?. Lilly just laughed everything of.
?Fufufu, you're blushing?
?Sh-shut up? Hisao hid his face from the youkai in the newspaper. He really did blush.
?You're holding it upside down too?
?N-no, I'm not!? He turned around the paper and decided to check out the news.

(switch to Drunk as I Like  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLswa5g08Y0 )

   The first page was littered with all kinds of stupid headlines. The main one was ?Dirty secrets of the Scarlet Devil Mansion revealed! Page 2?. The article was mostly about suspecting of lesbian relationships between maid employees of a place called the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It included an interview with the head maid as well. Nothing interesting, just another piece of lies brewed by Aya Shameimaru, stupid crow tengu of the youkai mountain.
   It was mostly lies but it was fun to read. The paper included even scandalous and embarrassing photos of some of Gensokyo's famous people. Sometimes the tengu came by to the shrine looking for scoops. When she didn't have anything to write on, she wrote about the work at the shrine, about scandalous lazing of of the main shrine maiden (the only one actually and it's shrine MAN).
   The paper contained even a corner for items from the outer world. This edition had a box thingy called ?a cellphone? which allowed communication with other cellphones. What a useless device. The most simple of spells allow you to communicate with others in many ways without the requirement of possessing such a thing.

   Suddenly Lilly let out a strange melody out of herself. It seemed to be coming from her body. Hisao stopped reading and shifted his attention to her. She took out a small box out of her dress, looking somewhat similar tot he one in the Bunbunmaru.
?Hello? Ah, Hello, Ran. Anything going wrong?? Yukari talked to the box. How weird. ?How's Chen doing? She asked another question after a while. Hisao heard faint sounds of a voice coming from the box ?That's good. I'll be back on time for lunch. See you! Isn't this device fun! Haha, you'll thank me home. Bye? And she hid the thing in her dress again.
?What?? She noticed Hisao staring.
?No, nothing.?

Time passed by lazily as Hisao read his daily newspaper, one of the most interesting parts of a regular days, and Lilly bathed in the sun.
?LOOOOOOOK OOOOOUUUUTT!!!? a loud shout was heard from afar only to see a giant metal object flying towards him with impressive speed. It had a funny grin and eyes drawn on it's tip, imitating a face. And it was closing in fast. Something told Hisao to move, but he wasn't fast enough...

(To be continued)

[Smok, destroyer of thoughts]

   (Music to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EV-H1zJbKk ? The Ground is Yellow)
   The strange steel thing with a face was dangerously closing in to Hisao's location. As the, uh, shrine man got up and prepared a quick barrier spell in his mind, a gap opened with great speed between him and the strange projectile.
   The thing got sucked inside the abyss like dust by a vacuum cleaner. Miko guy took a look behind him just to see Lilly sitting on her spot, hiding half of her face behind her fan, her eyes burning red. There is no way the warp gap wasn't her doing.
   ?Th-Thanks, Lilly? Hisao quickly thanked her and jumped with his gohei in hand towards the direction where the mysterious missile thing came from. Just down the hill where the shrine was located, he noticed someone on the other side of the road. The person seemed to be a small blue-haired girl in a blue dress with a golden key tied with a few straps on her chest. There were a lot of  strange pieces of steel scattered around her, but in her hands Hisao noticed something you could compare to a cannon. It seemed some kind of a mobile, yet big cannon. Either way, there was smoke coming out from it and it looked like it could fit an iron missile thingy, which stated who the culprit of this bold attack was.
   The keeper of the Nakai shrine ignored the fact that the girl looked rather surprised and confused. She was pointing that thing at him. Hisao flew, using magical power, down the stairs following to the shrine and without a word let out a yin-yang orb, made purely out of magical energy. It accurately made it's way towards the opponent but finally it didn't reach her. The orb bounced of the girl, revealing that she was surrounded by a strange barrier. She regained her resolve.
?Hey, wait!? she yelled to Hisao, but he didn't listen. His leisure time was brutally interrupted.
She took out an enormously long object out of her backpack, which she appeared to have on her back. It was way longer then the pack seemed to be.

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/1995/falconden.jpg

Edit: (No images over 150k bytes and 64x480 pixels. Yours was over both limits. -Chaore)

Then she closed one of the item's ends to her right eye, aiming the second end at Hisao. He was trained in shrine maiden arts, but he never saw anything like this before. He surrounded himself using a Nakai Barrier Spell, expecting an attack. The girl's item let out a loud noise, but nothing was seen. At the very second the sound was heard though, Hisao felt an impact on his barrier. An impact so strong, the barrier nearly crumbled as he barely held his concentration. Inside the barrier was a little metal object. Presumably, a bullet. It got stuck inside the barrier, piercing through at least a few centimeters of condensed magical energy. Impressive.
   Nakai decided to stop screwing around. A second shot at him would prove dangerous, so he took out a few pieces of paper out of his pockets. These were magically imbued seals, which had many combat-wise uses. He threw three at the girl, surprised that her previous attack hasn't done any damage. Before the seals reached her, out of her backpack came out two steel hands, attached to the pack. The mechanical monstrosities quickly knocked the seals away, letting them explode before reaching the girl and her barrier.
   And a second later the girl, searching through the pockets of her dress in panic, disappeared. She just vanished. Hisao, still in air, rubbed his eyes in disbelief. What kind of magic is this? He flew close to the still scattered pieces of metal, where the girl was standing before. Some pieces were different from others, just where did they come from and what were they used for? Suddenly Hisao felt a grip on his neck from behind. The robotic hands came out of nowhere and started strangling him. He started having problems breathing. The hands forced him to turn around showing that they were truly coming out of thin air. And before his eyes the girl practically materialized, showing an expression of anger.
?I told you to stop, are you retarded?? She shook her head in dissatisfaction, shaking her little blue twin tails tied up with small red ornaments. Hisao couldn't speak as the steel hands groped his neck rather hard. He felt his face was turning from red to blue as he was suffocating.
?Hey, are you alright? Oh, damn, I'm holding you too hard!? the girl took out another weird item, a little plate with buttons, and pressed one of them. The robotic hands released Hisao from their titanic grip and the miko dropped on the ground, coughing. He welcomed air in his lunges with happiness.

(switch to Argue for and Against. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZyOb6L1GJc )
?I... I was the one who fired that missile... Sorry.? She confessed as Hisao was regaining senses.
?Why the heck did you do that for!?? He asked. It appeared that Lilly was slowly coming towards them, down the steps following to the shrine. She wasn't in a hurry and seemed like she didn't want to get involved with this issue.
?I was testing my newest invention!? She presented Hisao with the cannon thing she dropped ?The XLMS08 Hand cannon! Well... I need to work on it's homing mechanism still...?
?But why did you shoot that thing at my shrine!?? Hisao raised his hands in anger. He dropped his gohei on the ground, he didn't care about it anymore.
?I was shooting at the opposite direction, at the forest... But it turned around and decided to fly there instead? She pointed at the forest, then at the opposite direction, the shrine.
Hisao smacked his face with his palm. Whatever this girl was... oh, right. Who or what is she? He examined her closely. Except the dress with a golden key and her backpack, she had a green hat on her head. He looked below... and he noticed that her legs were made of steel.
?What... are these?? he pointed.
?Oh, these?? the girl pulled her dress up to show off her legs. ?I made them myself. I can move in them. Neat, huh?? She raised one of her metallic legs. They seemed to have some kind of contraptions installed in them. Hisao decided not to dwell on that issue anymore.
?So, uhm... my name's Hisao Nakai, the shrine man of the Nakai shrine, nice to meet you, I guess.? He raised his hand in a welcoming gesture.
?The shrine... man?? She made a surprised face, shaking Hisao's hand in response to his welcome. ?Yea... Well, anyway, my name's Emi Kawashiro, the best kappa engineer around, at your service?.
?And... what's this thing you attacked me with in the first place?? he pointed at the long thing.
?Ah, this is a simple FALCON sniper rifle. A pretty cool thingy, isn't it? I upgraded it with a built-in Optical Camouflage device, allowing me to turn invisible, as you probably noticed?
?Falcon...? Doesn't look like a bird to me... Ah, cool magic tough, Emi. Maybe you'd like to join me and Lilly for tea at the shrine?? Hisao showed the incoming youkai to Emi. Lilly's eyes returned to normal as she was closing to the location of the two.
Emi noticed the elegant woman.
?A-Ah, no, thank you... You see, I'm pretty busy with experimenting with new devices. I came here for the first time on field training. Thanks for the offer tough? She said as she hid all her stuff in her tiny backpack. How did all that got in there...?
?Are you refusing his kind offer, little girl?? Lilly spoke and grinned, showing of her white teeth in a wicked smile. Emi felt cold sweat running down her spine as the blond woman smiled at her. She got an impression that her empty eyes would suck her inside at any moment. She even forgot about her missile and didn't bother to ask about it's whereabouts.
   She waved goodbye to Hisao and Lilly and ran into the woods.
?Nice job scaring her off, Lilly.?
?Sorry~? She happily replied. She wasn't sorry at all.
?And how am I supposed to socialize with people if they run away in fear, huh?? Hisao passed Lilly and headed back to the shrine. She followed him, enjoying herself.
They had another cup of tea when they got back.

?You know, you could ask your witch friend, Kenji: he could introduce you to a few people so you could get around and get to know natives of Gensokyo a little better? Lilly suggested as they lazily chatted, enjoying the rest of the day.
?Hey, that's not a bad idea. Thanks, Lilly. I'll do so when he drops by? Hisao got fired up. Days were just going to get exciting.

....

(music to ?Love-colored magic? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGIJKaHa48k  )

Lilly vanished soon in one of her wicked gaps, saying something about supper with her shikigamis and after a while Kenji showed up in his regular manner. He landed with his broomstick near Hisao's living quarters.
?Yo, Hisao. Sup?? He greeted the shrine mai.. shrine man cheerfully.
?Hello, Kenji. I wanted to talk to you?
?Why so serious, ze~??
?You know, I'm here a while now... I'd like to meet new people around here, see new places...? Hisao talked nearly daydreaming while he brewed some red tea for Kenji.
?I ain't enough for ya??Kenji seemed a little angry. What, doesn't Nakai have enough friends? He knows the bros of Gensokyo already! He knows him, the Ordinary manly magician. He knows Rinnosuke at the Kourindou shop. He knows that wise ass were-teacher, Kamishirasawa Akio, from a nearby human village. Oh, wait...

?Yea, man, I think I can give you a little tour and meet up with people. Tell me though who did ya met already?? He asked as he drank his tea. Kenji liked red tea, especially the one brewed by Hisao. Was way better then that ?instant coffee? crap made by Kourin.
?Well, I know Lilly.? Hisao pointed out
Ah, the gap bitch... Kenji thought.
?Oh, and I met a strange blue-haired girl today. She said her name was Emi and that she was a kappa, whatever that is? Hisao tilted his head.
?The little river engineer. Yea, I know that one. Crafty, artificial legs, cool devices, nothin' to steal...? the magician went on, as he noticed something dangerous slipped by his mouth. Hisao raised an eyebrow.
?W-well! She's not wealthy, yeah, that's what I meant. Ah, saves me the trouble to introduce you! Come on, we have a few people to meet? He jumped on his broom with haste, avoiding further dwelling in his little kleptomaniac interests.
?Oi, wait up!? Hisao flew right behind the not-so-ordinary magician.

They flew above the Forest of Magic were Hisao heard that Kenji lives in.
?I'm gonna introduce ya to my neighbor, Rin Margatroid. She's a weirdo but being with her is a blast? magician filled Hisao in.

Kenji's neighbor, from the Forest of Magic, huh...?

[Smok, destroyer of thoughts]

They flew beyond trees of the Forest of Magic. Kenji was leading the way. He knew this place very well. Hisao wondered how long was he living here...
“Oi, Kenji?”
“Hm?”
“I never seen your place although I know you for so long.” Hisao observed this interesting fact.
“That's true~ze” He answered simply. He didn't say anything more. How rude, he didn't invite Hisao over. Well... it was fine, since he brought food and stuff with him most of the times he came visit the shrine.

“There” Kenji pointed to a spot in the middle of the forest. There was... a house. It looked a little out of place. Hisao rather expected some kind of a primitive hut, but this place was rather modern looking. It was white, with a dark blue roof and it had a tower on it's eastern part, fitting to the rest of the building. Although there didn't seem to be any garden, the grass was neatly cut and the house itself gave an impression of being held by a hard-working and decent person.

Both boys landed near the entrance and Kenji approached the door.
“So, we do this my style or yours?” He asked.
His... style?
“My style” Hisao stated clearly. Who knows what kind of a weird entrance would the manly magician make and the shrine man wanted to make a good impression. He knocked on the door politely and decided to wait for a response.

The door opened itself after a while and at first Hisao didn't notice anybody.
“Hiya” said Kenji.
Hisao took a better look and noticed that the door was opened by... a doll. The doll looked like a cute little girl. She was made with visible care and looked pretty realistic, except that she wasn't moving her eyes. As the door opened, she bowed in greetings with us.
“Awww, how cute” said Hisao. He wanted to enter the house but suddenly the doll took out a sword out of nowhere and flew towards Kenji. From inside of the house emerged more of the dolls, dressed in different colors and with different hair, all armed in little, yet sharp looking swords, pikes and axes mostly. They surrounded the two carefully.
Kenji seemed unmoved by the unexpected event.
“Wha-what's wrong?” Hisao asked.
“You are wrong” said a new voice of a person emerging from the house, this time someone normally sized, with flesh.
The person appeared to be a girl with short brown hair with a red ribbon in them. She was in a light blue dress with a lot of pink ribbons tied up for decorating measures. The most interesting was that... her sleeves were empty. She had no arms. Her green eyes shone like emeralds, with a little sign of green fire, showing her annoyance.
“You interrupted my work” she stated coldly staring at the two odd visitors.
“Sorry about that, Rin.” Kenji raised his hands, showing that he's unarmed. He's a magician... Only cutting those hands of would make him “unarmed”. “I came here politely as a guest, to introduce a new face to you. That's how you welcome guests?” He grinned wickedly.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sNsQdixLoA The Doll Maker of Bucuresti)

“That's cool” Rin suddenly smiled and relaxed. Her dolls around Hisao hid their weapons and started bowing in apologies. Though the ones around Kenji didn't disarm.
“You can come in” She pointed at the miko “You on the other hand – scram to your house and bring me the books you stole yesterday”
“Aww, come on...” Kenji obviously wanted to start explaining and crafting a little lie in his head.
Then one of the dolls, equipped with a lance, quickly charged towards his head, skewered his  hat and flew up with it far away into the forest.
“Hey, what the fu... Why you little!” Kenji jumped on his broomstick with haste and started chasing the doll. They both vanished from sight.
“O-oi... wasn't that a bit harsh?” Hisao said.
“Hmm... Yeah, you're right. My poor little doll” Rin replied. After that an awkward silence took place. The weird girl seemed lost in thoughts but she spoke “Why don't you come in? No worries,  my doll will leave his hat at his doorsteps. Then it'll explode”
Hisao went inside behind the girl. She just said something outrageous just now, didn't she?

The house inside looked clean. It was decorated in a western style, as the outsides would suggest. This looked like a guest room, but it looked a little... unused. Rin didn't seem to have many guests. There were a few doors leading to other rooms, but they were closed. Dolls were flying around, cleaning what was left from dust. Rin sat on a big, comfortable looking dark green chair.
“Have a seat” she offered him a similar chair opposite to the other one. There was a little wooden table between us, good enough to place tea for two people and some small snacks to go. A few dolls opened a pair of doors and flew inside another room.
“So, you are...?” Rin asked.
“Ah, I'm Hisao Nakai. A shrine man of the Nakai shrine nearby, nice to meet you, miss Margatroid”
“Likewise. You're a friend of Kenji? Are you... in THAT sort of stuff?”
“Uh... what do you mean?”
“You know... Witchery, theft”
Two dolls emerged from the room they previously came inside. They brought tea for Hisao and Rin, bowing politely. Hisao thought that they were really were cute. Apart that they could cut his throat any moment.
“He's a thief...?” Kenji never stole anything from Hisao. Except for some cookies. And the donation box seemed kinda empty all the time, which suddenly came to his mind...
“Yup, he steals my books on a regular basis” Rin sighed. One of the dolls flew near them, raised Rin's cup to her mouth to let her have a drink, then she put the cup down.
“O-oh... No, I don't think we share interests” Hisao took a  sip as well. It was good. Different then his own tea, but tasty.
“So what brings you here?”
“I just wanted to get to know the natives of Gensokyo a little better. Kenji brought me to you first.”
“Ah, socializing... Well, I don't have many visitors so this is a nice change. How do you like my dolls?” She asked with curiosity in her voice.
“They're well made and pretty cute, I must say. How do they work?”
“I control them with magic. I made them all myself, you see”
“Uhm... Mind if I ask how? You uuhm...” Hisao felt a little uncomfortable.
“Oh, these?” Rin noticed that he meant her missing arms “I use my feet”
Hisao was surprised. How could she craft dolls so well just using her feet? Amazing. Rin made quite an impression. Though it seemed like she didn't have a lot of friends and she put a hell lot of time and work into her dolls.

They had a nice conversation for some time. Husao told her about himself, it wasn't that much to talk about anyway. The Doll Master was a lot more interesting though. She was a youkai magician, who was once human. She cherished her hobby,  puppetry, a lot. She loved every single doll. In her tales tough there was nothing about her times as a human, nothing telling how did she happened to start living here,in the middle of nowhere. Nothing about friendships or other relationships as well.

The dolls started cleaning the windows and hanging Rin's laundry on a clothesline outside the house. Hisao didn't know if Rin had to concentrate on the dolls' doings, they seemed almost alive. The one that was raising the puppeteer's cup, was occasionally looking around with her shiny black eyes or brushing her hair with a miniature hair brush. It was amusing to watch and Hisao enjoyed it all a lot. He made a new interesting friend.
It was time for him to get back though. Kenji didn't appear at all, probably busy extinguishing fires at his house and cursing the Doll Master.
“It was a pleasant visit, Miss Rin. I'm glad we met”
“Sure, come by anytime” Rin followed Hisao to the door, with a small legion of her dolls opening doors for him and bowing all the time, like faithful servants.
“I hope to see you at my shrine too, for some tea or something more if you like” He smiled to her.
“Something... more?” Rin raised an eyebrow. She blushed a little too.
“Er, uh...” Hisao noticed what she probably thought “I meant some sake”
“Oh, that's fine. Sure, I guess I know it's location” all signs of her embarrassment vanished.

Hisao waved goodbye to the Doll Master and flew back home, forgetting about Kenji. What a good day that was.

....

(switch to Darkening Dusk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhckAXUw75U )

The next day, Hisao got up quite early. He went outside to great the morning and enjoy the joy of life...

(And stop the music )

... Until he got knocked out by an unidentified flying object. As his face inevitably approached it's randez vous with the ground, he heard “Ayayaya!” and his world got filled with blackness.

...

When he woke up, he felt pain on his face. He got hit hard by... something. Before his eyes was a pair of nice boo... I mean, wings. Black wings. He raised his eyes up and he noticed a face, a little saddened and concerned.
“Ayaya, so you finally woke up, mister. I'm soooo sorry” She bowed. If she could bow just a little bit lower, Hisao would be granted a sight that could make his day a lot better, despite the fact of being knocked out.
“I threw the newspaper a little too hard today and you got hit as you came outside of your shrine” she explained. “Oh, damn, I never knocked out a customer before. A one that's paying for the paper at that. Hey, you're getting red, are you ok?”
Hisao felt blood rushing towards his cheeks “Uh, no! I'm fine, I'm fine. Just a little confused, don't worry...”
“How can I repay you, mister? Anything you say, except for not paying for the news, off course” She smiled.
A few wicked thoughts invaded Hisao's mind. Suffice to say they weren't appropriate and their content wasn't work safe. But he fought with all his poor willpower with them and he came up with an idea.
“W-Well... There is one thing you could help me in”
“Yea, what is it?”

(switch to Wind God Girl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=128rfuJczCs )
...

“So, let me get this straight” Aya, the newspaper reporter and seller pointed her finger at the resident male shrine maiden “You want to get to know more people around Genokyo?”
“Yeah” he nodded.
“Human village” she said.
“I know it already”
“Forest of magic”
“I got to know Kenji for a long time and I recently met miss Margatroid, a very nice person indeed”
“Nice...? Hmm... Yeeeah....” She didn't look too convinced but she went on. “Ya been anywhere else, bored shrine guy?”
“No, not much... I eat at Mystia's and that's just about it I know”
“Ok, so here's the deal... There are like two quite interesting places I can show you to.”
“That would be nice, thank you”
Aya grinned “You're lookin for a girlfriend, aren'cha?” her smile grew a little and her hands wandered towards the picture making device hanging from her neck like a bizarre big amulet.
“What!? No!” Hisoa declined. His face got red in an instant. What was thing girl thinking?
“Yeah, right. I'll have it on the front page tomorrow. I already see the title Lonely priest. Who will he chose?” She seemed to fly of with thoughts. But suddenly she came back “ Or maybe you're a Casanova type, huh? More then one girl would be nice, eh?”.
“S-Stop that!” Hisao was mercilessly teased.
“Ok, ok. I promised so I'll show you off to the first place. Follow me.” And she took off to the sky.
Hisao could barely gain on her.
“H-hey, not so fast! What's the place called?”
“You need a name?”
“Uh... Yes! Isn't it natural?”
“It's the Scarlet Devil Mansion. You might hook up a nice damsel there, teehee” She sticked her tongue out, teasing the innocent priest further.
“Scarlet wah?”

(to be continued)

[Smok, destroyer of thoughts]

(music still at Wind God Girl)
?That's it!? Aya pointed at a far away building. As Hisao closed in on it, he noticed it's a huge mansion in the middle of nowhere. The place looked really rich and it even had a gigantic clock tower and some enormous gardens.

Aya landed a little away from the palace's main gates. She waved to Hisao to follow her.
?So listen up, here's the plan? she started ?You go in there, I observe?
?Wha-wha-whaaaat!?? Hisao was confused. He didn't even know the people inside. What was he supposed to do? Introduce himself and then what?
?That's what you wanted, didn't you?? She tilted her head. ?oooh, pretty please?? She bended a little towards him ?You wouldn't say no to a lady, wouldn't you??.
Hisao could clearly see her cleavage and felt his mind going all blank. If he didn't feel a bit dizzy, he would notice her mischievous grin, having her in full control of the situation.
As she didn't hear any answer from him, she went on ?Good boy! Now go and make friends? and she pushed the poor shrine maiden towards the gates.
Hisao didn't manage to protest and as he turned around to say anything, Aya had already disappeared somewhere. How fast of her...

( switch to Drunk as I Like- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLswa5g08Y0 )

Ah well, since he was already here, he might as well introduce himself. Maybe he would gain a few new (and rich!) believers.
It wouldn't hurt to try... would it? With this thought in mind Hisao went on towards the big main gate of the mansion.
When he made it, he noticed a person sitting close to the gate. It was a red haired woman, dressed in green, with a beret on her head. She was sound asleep. Her snoring could be heard from quite a distance.
?Uhm... Hello?? Hisao approached the lady, he wasn't sure what to do. If this was one of the mansion's natives, he couldn't just pass by her. That would be impolite and might result in bad misunderstandings.
He poked the girl lightly as his call didn't have any effect. This also didn't do anything. Oh, well, maybe Hisao should just go on and knock on the g...
And suddenly a fast object rapidly flew by his head. It sure surprised the priest and he started to look around for an attacker. The gates had opened and from them emerged a black haired woman. Her hair was short, she had glasses on and a maid outfit, with a shirt skirt. Behind her flew a big pink-haired fairy. It was a fairy if you would judge by her wings, though these seemed rather special. They looked like pink crystals. The hair was odd on that one too... It was formed in... drills? Springs? It was hard to say.
?WAHAHAHA~? the fairy laughed rather like a demon. Hisao had his guard up, cautiously watching the two. He noticed that the object that flew very close to his head was a sharp knife. It landed near the sleeping woman. That didn't wake her up at all. What DID wake her up though was the laughing fairy. Her voice seemed like it could wake up the dead.
The maid look furious, she ignored Hisao and had her sight focused on the now awoken girl.
?Ahh! I'm sorry miss Shizune! I really wasn't slacking off!? she cried loud.
The maid took a glimpse on the pink haired fairy who continued to shake her hands in various weird gestures. Then she didn't even speak a word and she started making the hand signs as well.
?You are the most lazy among servants, Meiling! WAHAHA~? The fairy spoke. Hisao kinda started to have an idea.... This might be a kind of sign language. So there's a chance the head maid possibly might not hear anything, thus she uses the fairy as a means of communication.
She turned her gaze towards Hisao.
?And what are you doing here, shrine maiden-chan?? The fairy happily said, emotions opposite to the ones the maid seemed to express.
?I am Hisao Nakai of the Nakai shrine. I came here exploring Gensokyo? Hisao stated, a bit frightened by the cold welcome.
?WAHAHA~, so you are Hicchan!? Fairy laughed creepily as she used to before.
The maid got a little less tense. The girl called Meiling ran off somewhere as soon as she got scolded so they all could relax a little bit.

She made a few signs, a bit more slowly now. Hisao didn't understand one bit, but the fairy translated everything:
?What do you want in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Hicchan~?? she said. Hisao was a little annoyed by that nickname, he didn't know her, so that was impolite of the fairy.
?I was led here by a certain journalist an-? He was cut of, as when the fairy translated the word ?journalist?, the maid took out a knife from somewhere under her skirt and threw it with great speed towards the bushes where Aya Shameimaru previously was. He heard a ?Ayayaya!? and a shadow flew up from the bushes with light speed to the sky and disappeared.
The maid grinned wickedly.
The Scarlet Devil Mansion looked armed, ready and used to Aya's visits.
?Let us continue the talk, Hicchan!? Fairy flew a bit closer to Hisao. She seemed to quickly trust people.
?So, as I was saying, that tengu led me here. I wanted to meet the natives of nearby lands.? Hisao was a bit disturbed but went on.

(change music to Flowering Night - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7AVGuAhn8k  )

The fairy and the maid exchanged a few signs together and after a little while, they turned to Hisao again.
?Well then, nice to meet you, Hicchan. I am Shizune Izayoi and this is Misha~ Wait... I'm Misha? the fairy was confused. It was hard enough for Hisao to distinguish where the thoughts of the maid ended and the fairy's begun. It looks like the fairy had a little trouble as well. Weird.
The maid, Shizune, ordered Hisao to follow them with her hand. He followed, unsure of his fate. What kind of strange event has he got himself into now?

Hisao proceeded towards the entrance of the mansion, crossing the gates with the maid and her fairy. He observed that the gardens bloomed peacefully and  many other fairies in maid outfits, going about with chores around the vast terrain. The mansion itself looked very luxurious. The maid opened the door and she was greeted by many more maid fairies, bowing politely ?Hello, head maid and welcome, guest?. Misha translated every word. It's amazing how she could manage all that for Shizune to get what's going on around her.
And Shizune herself seemed like an important figure around here.
?How do you like the mansion, Hicchan?? Misha asked.
?Oh, it's lovely. May I know who's the master??
Misha translated all of the shrineguy's words, but Shizune didn't sign back. She called one of the servant fairies with her hand, made a few signs.
?Please, call master. We have a guest? Misha announced to the fairy and so did the servant fly up beyond the enormous halls of the mansion, disappearing somewhere in one of the many corridors.

Hisao followed politely. He was shown the eastern and the western part of the building. They seemed to walk much longer then they should making it seem the mansion was much bigger inside then on the outside. But that was impossible... was it? They returned to the central part of the mansion.
?We are now approaching the library? Misha said quite officially.

(change music to Voile- Magic Library  - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_2kqPl9DIs )

The three went through a gigantic door, filled with ornaments. The library was titanic. Hisao couldn't see how high it went nor where it ended. He gasped in amazement as this state didn't change even as they proceeded deeper.
?WAHAHA~ Miss Patchouli! We came for a visit!? Misha screamed, crashing the atmosphere of refines of the library.
?Oh, do be quiet, fairy! I'm reading...? a voice came from far away. Hisao noticed that one of the many tables present in the library obviously for studying purposes, was occupied by someone.

The person was a short girl, with insanely long purple hair, tied up with ribbons in many parts. The outfit was a bit out of place as it resembled pajamas or something like that. She was even wearing a night gown, all lavender- colored. In front her, on the desk, was an enormous old- looking book written in a language Hisao never seen before.

Shizune made some signs and Misha said all out loud:
?Hello, Patchouli. How is your day??
?Shut up, fairy, I know sign language.? She replied, also signing every word she said loudly.
Misha squeaked and hid behind Shizune's back in fear, but Hisao decided not be just a shadow.
?But I don't. Sorry for the intrusion, Miss...? he explained himself.
?.. Patchouli Knowledge. And you are?? she introduced herself. She looked a little skinny and the clothes and the hair seemed a little unordered, as if she didn't quite care about her looks much. But she was very cute  even despite that.
?Hi-Hisao Nakai, shrineman of the Nakai shrine!? He bowed to hide his embarrassment.
?Let's see here...? Patchouli took out a book from one of the many shelves and started searching for something.
?Shrineman, shrineman.... Hmm... Well!? She shut the book and hid it back on it's place ?It looks like such a word doesn't exist, shrineMAIDEN?.
Hisao already didn't like her attitude. Wise-assed, little....
?What brings you here to this library, priest? I don't believe in Gods nor do I intend to.? she stated ignoring the fact she might've been a little harsh for the guest.
?The priest of the Nakai shrine explores these regions and decided to pay us a polite visit to get to know us better? Misha said from behind of Shizune's back. Patchouli sighed, snapped her fingers and all the conversation appeared as colorful letters in mid air, probably for Shizune to be able to follow the talk better.
?That's very nice. So we have met. Yuuko!? Patchouli shouted and from above came flying yet another person.
?Ye-yes, Patchouli-sama!? She stuttered. The person appeared to be demon-kin. She had bat wings on her back and a smaller pair of them attached to her head as well. She seemed very nervous and she almost tripped during landing. She did drop a few books she was carrying though and even her glasses fell of.
?Ooh... I dropped them...? And she started picking them up.
?Don't worry about them...? Said Patchouli. She didn't seem as harsh for her as she was for the newcomer.
?Thanks, Yuuko? Patchouli said as her clumsy demon servant handed her all the dropped books, affixing her glasses properly ?You may go now and take a rest?
?B-But Patchouli- sama! I mustn't rest if I know you are here, still working!?

Misha pulled Hisao by his sleeve.
?Let's leave them be, Hicchan? And so the shrineman, the maid and the fairy all left the library unnoticed by the natives.
As they left, a fairy, the very same Shizune ordered to find the master of the mansion, approached them.
?The Master is awaiting you all at the lobby? she bowed politely and flew away with her business.
?We mustn't let master wait for us long, let's hurry? Misha translated Shizune's words.

(change music to Septette for the Dead Princess - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UHrkLINE0U&fmt=18 )

They got back to the mansion's main lobby. Hisao saw the main stairs leading up to upper levels of the mansion. One of the places he wasn't shown to yet.
There stood a small figure of a girl. She was dressed in a light pink dress and she had a mob cap of the same color on her head. Her little blue hair fluttered a bit as she started going down by the stairs. As she closed by, Hisao noticed that she had a pair of large bat-like wings on her back, a little different then the ones he saw before on the library servant.
She got pretty close and approached the priest with curiosity in her eyes. And the eyes were shining with a red color of blood.
?My, My? she started with a girly voice. ?I am Remilia Scarlet, mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The Scarlet Devil herself.?
As she spoke, Shizune and Misha bowed in honor. Hisao followed them with it, to show respect.

?And what is this I see? Yet another shrinemaiden visiting us??

(to be continued)