Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Hakurei Shrine~ => Patchouli's Scarlet Library => Topic started by: Tengukami on October 22, 2010, 01:11:39 PM

Title: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
Post by: Tengukami on October 22, 2010, 01:11:39 PM: http://tengukami.blogspot.com/2010/10/out-of-breath-chapter-1.html

Inspired by the TARC thread "What if the Great Hakurei Barrier was never put up?"

And for the first time, I'm being a little braver and writing this as I post it. No outlines, no idea what happens next, just writing as I go. I hope you enjoy it.

EDIT: Just realized it's a full moon today, too!

Link to chapters in this thread:

Chapter 2 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,7437.msg467940.html#msg467940)
Chapter 3 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,7437.msg471275.html#msg471275)
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: Matsuri on October 22, 2010, 02:01:04 PM: Man, that was quite a way to start. I look forward to reading more. =O
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: Esifex on October 22, 2010, 02:08:55 PM: I now demand that someone draw Kaguya and Eirin sitting at Denny's. Bonus points for their usual outfits, but not required.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 22, 2010, 03:19:35 PM: well, the premise is interesting enough, and you already managed to get me interested with the mental image of their little apartment. Always liked the Contemporary tag over the booru.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: nolrai2 on October 22, 2010, 04:01:32 PM: Beautifully sad.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: Jana on October 22, 2010, 04:22:47 PM: Quote
[11:10] <Tengukami> Also, Jana, if you want to share your thoughts about the story, feel free to post them in the thread.
[11:10] <Jana> The mere idea of Eirin and Kaguya eating at Denny's appeals to me greatly for some reason. :)

And, of course, that I'm looking forward to more. :>
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: Seian Verian on October 22, 2010, 09:24:30 PM: Whoa. This is... Awesome. I definitely want to see more of this.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: Sect on October 23, 2010, 06:04:56 AM: Makes me think of the doujin "Hourai Daybreak".
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: Momiji on October 23, 2010, 08:26:25 AM: This makes me hope they're real. =[

Please write more!
Title: Re: Out Of Breath
Post by: Iced Fairy on October 23, 2010, 05:04:35 PM: (Heh, I switch to planning and you switch to publishing as you go.)

A great start as others have said. Once again I see a lot of potential here for all sorts of interactions. Especially given the players that can enter the field.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 2
Post by: Tengukami on October 24, 2010, 01:35:25 AM: http://tengukami.blogspot.com/2010/10/out-of-breath-chapter-2.html

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. It's a lot of fun going without an outline. I don't know where Kaguya and Eirin are. I know who will show up. But that's about it.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 2 Is Up
Post by: nolrai2 on October 25, 2010, 02:37:20 AM: Wow..I.. that is something. Something I want more of.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 2 Is Up
Post by: Esifex on October 25, 2010, 04:37:56 PM: I love how you pull off first-person narrative, that's really something else man. Very good.

I especially like the concept of Kaguya dozing off while floating around.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up
Post by: Tengukami on October 28, 2010, 02:21:27 PM: http://tengukami.blogspot.com/2010/10/out-of-breath-chapter-3.html

Sorry for the delay. Enjoy!
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up
Post by: nolrai2 on October 28, 2010, 03:54:37 PM: YAY!
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
Post by: Esifex on October 28, 2010, 06:51:16 PM: :>

So the premise behind this story isn't 'After Gensokyo's barrier dissolved/Kaguya and Eirin leave Gensokyo', but rather 'Kaguya and Eirin never went to Gensokyo to begin with'?

Ah, well. I can dig it.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
Post by: Tengukami on October 28, 2010, 08:17:37 PM: Yeah, this is going on the premise that the Hakurei Barrier never went up; how the Lunarian cast and related characters would manage.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
Post by: Serena on October 28, 2010, 08:18:29 PM: I thought the idea was "nobody was ever in Gensokyo to begin with"...?

EDIT: Ah, ninja'd ::)
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
Post by: Tengukami on October 28, 2010, 08:20:43 PM: Quote from: Tsukiko on October 22, 2010, 01:11:39 PM
Inspired by the TARC thread "What if the Great Hakurei Barrier was never put up?"

But don't let that stop you from having your own interpretations. The more the merrier!
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
Post by: Iced Fairy on October 28, 2010, 09:25:55 PM: Oh of course. Reisen. How could I have forgotten. I guess I just associated her with Gensoukyo.

And it seems like the group unconcious has moon invasion on the mind. :) I look forward to seeing yours, no matter how it pans out.
Title: Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
Post by: Tengukami on October 28, 2010, 09:40:45 PM: Reisen's story always interested me, conscientious objector that she is.